Do Tedious and Boring Meetings Waste Most of Your Time?

You know the kind of thing - the meeting starts late because most of the people arrive late. Some people don't turn up at all.

Most people haven't read any of the information they were sent. You haven't prepared either, because you were too busy in other meetings.

No one has completed the actions they agreed to last time.

People answer calls on their phones during the meeting, or dash out to answer them.

Just as you think it's about to finish so you can rush off to your next meeting, (for which you are already late) your colleagues bring up extra items of "Any Other Business" or "AOB".

At the end of the meeting, no progress has been made. All you have to look forward to is another meeting.

Sound familiar? So why do meetings like this happen? And what can you do about it?

My Meetings Are Eating My Other Meetings

A Grapevine reader, Alan, called recently complaining he just didn't have time to go to all his meetings because there were too many, they were too long and he couldn't get his work done in between.

We started to dig. He's pretty senior, so he runs most of the meetings he goes to. We looked at the next one he had coming up. I asked what the objective of the meeting was. After a pause he said: "To discuss the new building project."

As you will know that isn't an objective. "Discussing" is just something you spend your time doing. I asked him what preparation he expected the members of his team to have done when they arrived.

It turned out he hadn't sent them an agenda yet (the meeting was the next day). He confessed that most of the time most of them arrived not having read anything he sent them in advance, so he'd stopped bothering.

"Have you agreed ground rules for meetings with your team?" I asked.

Alan groaned: "This is all my fault, isn't it? I called you so I could blame them, but it's me."

"Yes." I said. "But the good news is that this means you can do something about it."

Two weeks later Alan told me he had generated 10 extra hours a week already. He was now getting home in time to have dinner with his family. And that was just the start.

The Two Key Reasons Meetings Are So Bad

1. There is no clear objective for the meeting.
2. Those attending the meeting have no clear objective.


There are only three reasons to go to any meeting:

1. Get information.
2. Make sure others have information.
3. Ensure that the decision being made at the meeting meets some specific criteria.

So, work out your objectives for the meetings you need to go to. If they are to get information ask yourself; is there a quicker, easier way of getting that information? Like not going to the meeting?

If your objective is to make sure others have some information, do you really have to go to the meeting? Can you just email them notes?

If you need to ensure that the decision meets a set of criteria, it may well be that you do need to be there. But if you are clear about your criteria and you discover what the criteria the others have are at the start, then your meeting can be much more effective and shorter.

Objectives Are Not Just For Appraisals

Having a clear objective in any situation helps you to be more effective. It focuses you on what you need to achieve and stops you wasting time on other, irrelevant issues.

Do You Work With Any Selfish, Thoughtless People?


"How do I deal with people who only think of themselves, their immediate group/function and not the bigger picture? "

Who do you know like this? I mean the kind of people who make it harder for you to do your job because they are so focussed on their own tiny area.

This can be as simple as people who just don't respond in time to your urgent email with information that you need to meet a deadline. It could be someone who won't listen to other people's ideas, even though they are quite clearly better than their own.

It can be someone who turns up late to meetings, keeping everyone else waiting because their work is more 'important', or they just can't be bothered.

You know the kind of thing; they expect you to drop everything to help them, but are too busy when you need help.

Or it may be that they simply don't take your needs into account, like one department head that kept everyone in a meeting an hour and a half after the published finishing time. Then when some people had to leave to pick up their children from nursery, accused them of not being committed to the company.

It's the people who dump a task on you that soaks up your weekend whilst they swan off to enjoy themselves.

But it can also be people who moan about their bonus being cut when, even after the cut, it's more than you are paid in a year.

Why Do You Think People Behave Like This? A Controversial Reason

People of today are less empathic that people were 30 years ago.

This is the shocking finding of researchers at the University of Michigan. They analyzed data on empathy among 14,000 students from 1980s to today. They found a 40 percent decrease in empathy, the ability to understand the feelings of others.

So it would seem that things are getting worse. Very quickly.

What Can You Do?

You need to get them to start thinking about others and learn the skills they are lacking. The easiest way to do this is to use questions. You need to start from the assumption that the reason they are not thinking about others (you and your colleagues or the company as a whole) is not because they are deliberately ignoring you, it's more like they just haven't thought about you.

So it's lack of practice, not just pig-pigheadedness.

Why Is Empathy On The Decline?

The researchers think that too many violent video games numb youth to the pain of others and that making "friends" online encourages very superficial relationships that don't allow you to develop your empathic skills.


I Can't Help You

One woman I read about with had picked up the phone in answer to a client's call. After a few seconds the rest of her colleagues heard her say: "I can't do that now, it's my lunch break." And slam the phone down.


This was just one of many dreadful examples of her lack of consideration for her fellow humans.
Someone asked her how she thought the client felt, when she had talked to him like that. A look of surprise spread across her face. She hadn't thought about him for one second, just that she wanted to go to lunch.

She was then asked her how she might have felt, getting a response like that.
And that was it. No one had ever put it to her quite like that before.


The Problem

Insensitive people are just that, insensitive. So there's no way they will take a hint .The problem you create when you try hinting is that you feel you've told them, or they 'should' realise, but they never do. So you feel more and more frustrated.


The reason you aren't direct with them is that you don't want to offend them. This is very nice of you but it's an unnecessary concern. You see, you are imagining that they are like you. But they're not. So they haven't heard your request.


The strange thing is they are not doing this deliberately. That's a bit like accusing a person who is deaf of deliberately not hearing what you are saying. You just need to get your message into a form that they can understand. For insensitive people, that means you need to be very direct.


Go on, have a go.


So if you have some difficult people that are proving to be a pain for you at work, then you may want to get the book "Difficult People Made Easy". .........hold on a second......

Till next week

Cure Your Hoarding Habits

Do you ever open a drawer and find lots of stuff that has been there for years? Or have you ever tried to find a vital piece of paper and found it with lots of old out of date documents?
Or have you just not been able to find documents you needed?
Not enough space for your new books, CDs or clothes because your cupboards and shelves are full of the things you already have?
Do you know what's at the back of your drawers? How long has it been there?
Are there pens in your drawer that you picked up years ago off some stall for nothing, don't work, but are still there? Are some of them clearly broken?

Have You Ever Wondered Why You Hoard?

The Two Opposing Forces
Did you know that nature encourages us to hoard, in case of scarcity and hard times? (But, as you will have noticed in the recent economic climate, there probably isn't enough hoarding - we call it "saving" - of money by Joe Public going on at the moment.)

On the other side of the scales the mesial prefrontal region of your brain stops you hoarding, or tries. But if it is damaged, the squirrel tendencies are off the leash.

This is a problem that can cause you serious time management issues. You will have seen offices or desks stuffed with all kinds of things and mountains of papers that you know will never be read or dealt with. You know this because simple mental arithmetic tells you that the person in this office won't live long enough to do it.

When Silas, the chap who did my kitchen, came over to look at my office he said, in a tone of horror mixed with alarm "Do you really need all this stuff?"

Have you asked yourself this question recently?

This question came from a man who has a piece of wood that he had in his workshop when we first met over 20 years ago. It's a lovely piece: English ash and unique in its way.

He kept it because he thought it might be useful one day and, as he said: "They don't make them like this any more."

A Terrifying True Horror Story About An Old Lady Who Went Missing.

Her husband couldn't find her. He called the police.

They couldn't find her and left after searching the house, which was filled to the brim, from floor to ceiling, with piles of old newspapers.

But when she still hadn't come home later, the police went back and searched again. They found her, but it was too late. Falling piles of the detritus she had hoarded over her lifetime had suffocated her.

What Can You Do?

One of the easiest ways to reduce hoarding is by having clear rules about what you keep and what you don't keep. That means you need to have a set of criteria.

Unfortunately, the "It might come in handy one day" rule can be a killer.

Are you one of those people who never gets rid of a book?

Here's A Way To Deal With That

Get rid of any book as soon as you have discovered they are no good (boring or don't have the information you want). Just put it straight into your 'charity box' (or the box for emergency Christmas presents for people you hardly know that suddenly give you unexpected, awful presents).

Have a shelf for the ones that you think might be useful "at some stage". Then put a time in your diary to throw out the ones you haven't used for a year. (You can give them to charity rather than throw them away.)

Will You Ever Listen To Those CDs Again?

Ask yourself how many CDs you have. Assume each one is about 45 minutes long. If you listened for eight hours a day solidly you could get through about 18 CDs. On that basis, how many days of CDs do you have?

The truth is often that there really are some you will never listen to again. So why are they still there? It may be sentimental reasons.... Or that they might come in useful one day.

Systems

It all boils down to systems. If you have a system that means you keep more than you get rid of then sooner or later you will end up with no space in your cupboard. It may be in a year, 10 years or one week, but it will happen.

All Our Problems

Just about every problem is down to a system not working properly or being a bad system.

The Judge on the Potters Bar train crash enquiry, Michael Findlay Baker QC identified one of the problems that contributed to the crash:

On 9 May 2002, 16 hours before the crash, a rail worker, worried by "movement" as a train he was on approached Potters Bar told a member of staff.

The judge said the member of staff he told was "busy" and did not log the report. "He forgot," said the judge. "In short, he did nothing."

The system plainly wasn't working.

Your Life is Full of Systems

Even though you may not realise it, I'm sorry to tell you that it's true. So pay attention to the systems that you have created and see which ones are helpful and which aren't.

Here's a favourite example of one that wasn't very good - a completely true story from a Time Management course.

A delegate turned up over an hour late. He said that he couldn't find his keys so had missed the bus. He had eventually found the keys after 30 minutes of searching. They were on the floor under some clothes (also strewn on the floor).

I asked him where he normally put his keys. He gave an uncomprehending blank look. He did not have a 'normal' place to put his keys.
His system was:

1. Come in through the door
2. Drop keys
3. Go to fridge for can of beer
4. If there is no can of beer in the fridge, go out and get one....

You get the picture.

Three months later, Nick told me his life had completely changed. Now that he had put in a few systems (like a saucer to put his keys in) he had so much more time. Where he used get his excitement from wondering if he had a clean shirt to wear into work, he now got it from going sailing, which he found to be much more satisfying.

Fighting for Survival

As you will know, if you read this eZine a few weeks ago, I bought

a dress, a complete bargain, which I knew would be ideal for a

friend's 50th birthday party.

To my amazement, as I walked in, my friend immediately pointed out

that I was wearing a dress that I had purchased at the bargain

price of £19. 'Well, I do read those emails you send me!', he told

me, as I looked a bit startled.

The bits of the party I can remember were excellent. Fortunately we

were staying in my usual room upstairs so there was no need for too

much caution. However, I do remember quite distinctly one

conversation.

We were debating whether, given the choice, we would fly with

Virgin or British Airways. My friend was adamant that there was no

choice. It had to be Virgin. I knew he'd have a good reason.

No Apology

So let me tell you the story (apparently there are many, but this

was the one he told us this time).

They boarded the British Airways flight and took their seats.

Unlike me, my friend never watches films on a plane, but he does

like to keep a close eye on the time and the progress of the plane.

Unfortunately he couldn't get his screen to work. He called over a

hostess. She said, with not the slightest apology, 'Oh yes, that

screen hasn't been working for a while.'

That was her entire statement on the situation.

How To Apologise

He then compared this to an entertainment problem on a Virgin

flight. While the passengers were waiting for take off, there was

an announcement to tell them that there was a problem with the

entertainment equipment. Engineers were working on it, but, if they

hadn't repaired it in time to get their take off slot on the

runway, the plane would have to take off without it being fixed.

Unfortunately the engineers did not manage to repair it in time.

There was an apology and the crew explained that there would still

be films available, but everyone would have to watch the same one

at the same time.

At the end of the flight, everyone was given another apology and a

voucher for a discount on a future flight.

Fighting For Survival

What has all this got to do with 'fighting for survival'? Let me

explain. I recently heard a news headline describing British

Airways as 'fighting for survival'. It really made me think.

Now I know that it was probably the journalist who coined the

phrase 'fighting for survival' rather than someone from BA. But it

does seem to fit with some of the examples of the behaviour I have

heard about.

Does Language Affect Behaviour?

The problem is that the words we use have an impact on how we think

and that, in turn, affects how we behave.

So if we think of ourselves as 'fighting' for survival then we will

see every interaction as a battle.

When You Are Threatened

When you perceive a situation as threatening the way you think

changes. Your interpretation of events and people's behaviour

towards you is skewed in a specific direction. In these

circumstances, you often feel like fighting. The trouble is that

this is not always the most useful behaviour. Fighting your

customers, suppliers and colleagues can be counter-productive.

So why do people do it?

The Easy Way

In many instances it's so much easier. You just blame someone else

and focus on your own needs. You see others as a threat, and

resources as something that needs to be fought over. Your brain is

using up too much effort thinking about how you are feeling to put

any effort into working out more innovative ways of dealing with

the situation.

Lord of the Flies

Apparently William Golding, author of 'Lord of the Flies' was a

teacher for many years. He experimented on his pupils to see how

long it would take him to get them at each other's throats. He

thought it would take a term or so, but he was wrong.

It took just a weekend trip.

I don't know what he did, if anything, to retrieve the situation.

What About Another Approach

What do you think would happen if BA said it was 'Cooperating For

Survival'? Do you think things would be different?

It is more difficult. Cooperation is a more advanced behaviour than

fighting for everything. You have to have better social skills and

consider the needs of others as well as your own. Anyone who has

had children will know that these skills come after the development

of the ability to focus on your own needs.

There is always a risk in cooperating. I spent a long time working

on a project a while back. The other author had approached me and

suggested we do the project together. We agreed a plan and I went

off and did my part of the work.

He didn't do his and his only response when I asked him what had

happened was that he had 'other priorities'. Like BA, he offered no

apology. He did not realise the huge cost to us at Vinehouse, of my

having spent all that time completing the parts I'd agreed to.

We decided not to work with him again. However, it hasn't stopped

us from cooperating with many others in the mean time, none of whom

have behaved in this way.

Is Competition Good?

'Competition' is the business way of talking about fighting. So is

competition good? This is a thorny question. I think it is used far

too often as a supposedly 'easy' way to motivate people.

I did some work for a company that made carpets. They had sales

people each with their own territories. Some of their biggest

customers were airlines. The trouble with the airlines was that

they should really have been customers of the National Sales

Manager, but often sales people in different areas had managed to

get the contract because an office was in their territory.

This would lead to all kinds of fights and subterfuge as each sales

person tried to increase his or her sales figures to get the prize

for being the top sales person.

The waste of resources was huge, as was the loss in sales because

so much effort was spent fighting each other instead of getting

more business.

Let's look at another area. In the pharmaceutical industry

companies develop drugs that are often very similar to drugs

already available. This is done in competition with other

pharmaceutical companies. The costs of development are massive.

So we have several companies all researching into the same area in

competition with each other, duplicating effort.

Yet there are diseases where there is little money for research

because the market is not seen as big enough or there is a huge

market (in other words lots of people suffering from the condition)

but it's not seen as very profitable.

Is Cooperation Weak?

At the same party I was talking to a lady who works in a Jersey

hospital in the accounts department. She looked harassed and

exhausted. She told me she'd had a bad week at work.

It turns out that, in April, the British government terminated its

reciprocal healthcare agreement with Jersey. In the past any

British person needing healthcare in Jersey got free treatment, as

did anyone from Jersey needing treatment in the UK. Now that is no

longer the case.

Unfortunately many British holidaymakers are unaware of the

situation. To give just one example; this poor lady had been having

to get a chap with a serious kidney problem, who was almost passing

out, to sign a form before they could treat him.

The change in arrangements has caused a huge amount of extra work

for them. Clearly overall, this can't be saving money. It seems to

be a mean-spirited step backwards that will just cause problems for

people in real need at the worst possible time.

Encouraging Cooperation

I think it's worth remembering in these difficult times that many

people (at all levels) will default to a combative mind-set without

realising that it can often be damaging or at best, inefficient.

Perhaps it's time we focussed more on cooperating with and helping

others rather than fighting for survival.

To do this we need to help people overcome their fear and start

thinking about the big picture and the needs of others as well as

their own needs.

Do you work with people who won't change?

Imagine you have to persuade a group of people to do something they don't want to do. It could be to fill out a new form that's changed and is longer than the old one or it could be to follow a new procedure.

How would you go about it? Would you explain to them how great it will be when they have the new forms? Would you tell them that, if they don't fill in the new forms they will be penalised?

Compared to telling people about a change to the way they are paid, their pensions or their jobs, this is relatively easy. So how would get a colleague of yours to start doing a task that you know they'll hate?

We all have to others to do things, but some people are much better at it than others.

Which Is The Best Method? The Carrot or The Stick?

Which would persuade you? You might think that there is one method that is better than the other, but the truth is, you need both types.

This is because there are some people who will be motivated by a reward and others who will be motivated by the thought of having to pay a charge if they don't do something.

A Real Example

Jim, a client of mine, wanted to persuade Fiona, an old colleague of his, to work with him at his new company. I knew Fiona and agreed to help arrange a meeting.

Jim sent me a draft of the email he was planning to send to Fiona. Here is an extract:

"Hi Fiona
I'm really enjoying working at XXXX. There's this great position going here that would really suit you. It's head of the XXXX department. You'd have your own building and there's a car with the job.
Do get in touch, it would be great to work with you again..."

The trouble is that I know Fiona and she is the kind of person who is motivated by the stick. I knew that she would not respond to anything like this. So here's the email after I'd changed it:

"Hi Fiona
You probably don't have time to read this, but if you do, we have a really serious problem here at XXX. No one knows how to tackle it, and I'm not sure it's soluble.
We simply don't have expertise in this area at XXX. If you did have a moment to get in touch I'd really appreciate it, though I know you're very busy..."

Quick Response

Half an hour after sending this email Fiona was on the phone and was attending an interview the very next week.