Fighting for Survival

As you will know, if you read this eZine a few weeks ago, I bought

a dress, a complete bargain, which I knew would be ideal for a

friend's 50th birthday party.

To my amazement, as I walked in, my friend immediately pointed out

that I was wearing a dress that I had purchased at the bargain

price of £19. 'Well, I do read those emails you send me!', he told

me, as I looked a bit startled.

The bits of the party I can remember were excellent. Fortunately we

were staying in my usual room upstairs so there was no need for too

much caution. However, I do remember quite distinctly one

conversation.

We were debating whether, given the choice, we would fly with

Virgin or British Airways. My friend was adamant that there was no

choice. It had to be Virgin. I knew he'd have a good reason.

No Apology

So let me tell you the story (apparently there are many, but this

was the one he told us this time).

They boarded the British Airways flight and took their seats.

Unlike me, my friend never watches films on a plane, but he does

like to keep a close eye on the time and the progress of the plane.

Unfortunately he couldn't get his screen to work. He called over a

hostess. She said, with not the slightest apology, 'Oh yes, that

screen hasn't been working for a while.'

That was her entire statement on the situation.

How To Apologise

He then compared this to an entertainment problem on a Virgin

flight. While the passengers were waiting for take off, there was

an announcement to tell them that there was a problem with the

entertainment equipment. Engineers were working on it, but, if they

hadn't repaired it in time to get their take off slot on the

runway, the plane would have to take off without it being fixed.

Unfortunately the engineers did not manage to repair it in time.

There was an apology and the crew explained that there would still

be films available, but everyone would have to watch the same one

at the same time.

At the end of the flight, everyone was given another apology and a

voucher for a discount on a future flight.

Fighting For Survival

What has all this got to do with 'fighting for survival'? Let me

explain. I recently heard a news headline describing British

Airways as 'fighting for survival'. It really made me think.

Now I know that it was probably the journalist who coined the

phrase 'fighting for survival' rather than someone from BA. But it

does seem to fit with some of the examples of the behaviour I have

heard about.

Does Language Affect Behaviour?

The problem is that the words we use have an impact on how we think

and that, in turn, affects how we behave.

So if we think of ourselves as 'fighting' for survival then we will

see every interaction as a battle.

When You Are Threatened

When you perceive a situation as threatening the way you think

changes. Your interpretation of events and people's behaviour

towards you is skewed in a specific direction. In these

circumstances, you often feel like fighting. The trouble is that

this is not always the most useful behaviour. Fighting your

customers, suppliers and colleagues can be counter-productive.

So why do people do it?

The Easy Way

In many instances it's so much easier. You just blame someone else

and focus on your own needs. You see others as a threat, and

resources as something that needs to be fought over. Your brain is

using up too much effort thinking about how you are feeling to put

any effort into working out more innovative ways of dealing with

the situation.

Lord of the Flies

Apparently William Golding, author of 'Lord of the Flies' was a

teacher for many years. He experimented on his pupils to see how

long it would take him to get them at each other's throats. He

thought it would take a term or so, but he was wrong.

It took just a weekend trip.

I don't know what he did, if anything, to retrieve the situation.

What About Another Approach

What do you think would happen if BA said it was 'Cooperating For

Survival'? Do you think things would be different?

It is more difficult. Cooperation is a more advanced behaviour than

fighting for everything. You have to have better social skills and

consider the needs of others as well as your own. Anyone who has

had children will know that these skills come after the development

of the ability to focus on your own needs.

There is always a risk in cooperating. I spent a long time working

on a project a while back. The other author had approached me and

suggested we do the project together. We agreed a plan and I went

off and did my part of the work.

He didn't do his and his only response when I asked him what had

happened was that he had 'other priorities'. Like BA, he offered no

apology. He did not realise the huge cost to us at Vinehouse, of my

having spent all that time completing the parts I'd agreed to.

We decided not to work with him again. However, it hasn't stopped

us from cooperating with many others in the mean time, none of whom

have behaved in this way.

Is Competition Good?

'Competition' is the business way of talking about fighting. So is

competition good? This is a thorny question. I think it is used far

too often as a supposedly 'easy' way to motivate people.

I did some work for a company that made carpets. They had sales

people each with their own territories. Some of their biggest

customers were airlines. The trouble with the airlines was that

they should really have been customers of the National Sales

Manager, but often sales people in different areas had managed to

get the contract because an office was in their territory.

This would lead to all kinds of fights and subterfuge as each sales

person tried to increase his or her sales figures to get the prize

for being the top sales person.

The waste of resources was huge, as was the loss in sales because

so much effort was spent fighting each other instead of getting

more business.

Let's look at another area. In the pharmaceutical industry

companies develop drugs that are often very similar to drugs

already available. This is done in competition with other

pharmaceutical companies. The costs of development are massive.

So we have several companies all researching into the same area in

competition with each other, duplicating effort.

Yet there are diseases where there is little money for research

because the market is not seen as big enough or there is a huge

market (in other words lots of people suffering from the condition)

but it's not seen as very profitable.

Is Cooperation Weak?

At the same party I was talking to a lady who works in a Jersey

hospital in the accounts department. She looked harassed and

exhausted. She told me she'd had a bad week at work.

It turns out that, in April, the British government terminated its

reciprocal healthcare agreement with Jersey. In the past any

British person needing healthcare in Jersey got free treatment, as

did anyone from Jersey needing treatment in the UK. Now that is no

longer the case.

Unfortunately many British holidaymakers are unaware of the

situation. To give just one example; this poor lady had been having

to get a chap with a serious kidney problem, who was almost passing

out, to sign a form before they could treat him.

The change in arrangements has caused a huge amount of extra work

for them. Clearly overall, this can't be saving money. It seems to

be a mean-spirited step backwards that will just cause problems for

people in real need at the worst possible time.

Encouraging Cooperation

I think it's worth remembering in these difficult times that many

people (at all levels) will default to a combative mind-set without

realising that it can often be damaging or at best, inefficient.

Perhaps it's time we focussed more on cooperating with and helping

others rather than fighting for survival.

To do this we need to help people overcome their fear and start

thinking about the big picture and the needs of others as well as

their own needs.